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Best Quotes from The Secret Life of Prince Charming

One of my all-time favorite teenage book, The Secret Life of Prince Charming by Deb Caletti, imparts many love advice I truly believe in. It is about a 16-year-old girl named Quinn who was surrounded by other people’s heartbreak that made her playing it safe when it comes to love. Prince Charming in this book is not the typical fictional character who saves you but the ones in real life who give you a broken heart. Here are some quotes to reflect on with life, the truth and love.

“Love was also an easy word, used carelessly. Felons and creeps could offer it coated in sugar, and users could dangle it so enticingly that you wouldn’t notice that it had things attached – heavy things, things like pity and need, that were weighty as anchors and iron beams and just as impossible to get out from underneath.”

“And because he was nice in the beginning did not mean he was a good man.”

“This is what I know. Don’t settle for 40, 50, even 80 percent. A relationship—it shouldn’t be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn’t be embarrassing or uncomfortable or downright ugly. It shouldn’t take up space in your closet out of a guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting.”

“I guess I was itching and crawling my way toward Elizabeth Bennett’s words about unconditional love. That it was a dangerous thing without heavy doses of mutual respect.”

“It starts so young, and I’m angry about that. The garbage we’re taught. About love, about what’s “romantic.” Look at so many of the so-called romantic figures in books and movies. Do we ever stop and think how many of them would cause serious and drastic unhappiness after The End? Why are sick and dangerous personality types so often shown a passionate and tragic and something to be longed for when those are the very ones you should run for your life from? Think about it. Heathcliff. Romeo. Don Juan. Jay Gatsby. Rochester. Mr. Darcy. From the rigid control freak in The Sound of Music to all the bad boys some woman goes running to the airport to catch in the last minute of every romantic comedy. She should let him leave. Your time is so valuable, and look at these guys–depressive and moody and violent and immature and self-centered. And what about the big daddy of them all, Prince Charming? What was his secret life? We don’t know anything about him, other than he looks good and comes to the rescue.”

“I used to think that finding the right one was about the man having a list of certain qualities. If he has them, we’d be compatible and happy. Sort of a checkmark system that was a complete failure. But I found out that a healthy relationship isn’t so much about sense of humor or intelligence or attractive. It’s about avoiding partners with harmful traits and personality types. And then it’s about being with a good person. A good person on his own, and a good person with you. Where the space between you feels uncomplicated and happy. A good relationship is where things just work. They work because, whatever the list of qualities, whatever the reason, you happen to be really, really good together.”

“Rejection, though–it could make the loss of someone you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.”

“You’ve got to have someone who loves your body. Who doesn’t define you, but sees you. Who loves what he sees. Who you don’t have to struggle to be good enough for.”

“We should not give away a moment to anyone who does not deserve it.”

“If you look up “charming” in the dictionary, you’ll see that it not only has references to strong attraction, but to spells and magic. Then again, what are liars if not great magicians?”

“Those questions you have? Whether he’s the one, whether you feel about him the way you should, or whether the relationship is going okay? When you’re not sure whether you’re in love with someone or not, the answer is not.”

“Let me tell you, you either have chemistry or you don’t, and you better have it, or it’s like kissing some relative. But chemistry, listen to me, you got to be careful. Chemistry is like those perfume ads, the ones that look so interesting and mysterious but you don’t even know at first what they’re even selling. Or those menues without the prices. Mystery and intrigue are gonna cost you. Great looking might mean something very expensive, and I don’t mean money. What I’m saying is, chemistry is a place to start, not an end point.”

“Unconditional love is like a country of two with no laws and no government. Which is all fine if everyone is peaceful and law abiding. In the wrong hands, though, you got looting and crime sprees, and let me tell you, the people who demand unconditional love are usually the ones who will rob and pillage and then blame you because you left your door unlocked.”

“The most basic and somehow forgettable thing is this: Love is not pain. Love is goodness. And real love–it’s less shiny than solid and simple.”

“We look down our noses at people who’ve made mistakes in relationships. She’s so stupid! How could she do that! Our superiority makes us feel better. But I’d bet everything I have on the fact that people to claim to have a perfect record in love are either lying or have very limited dating experience. People who say, I’d never do that! Someday, unless you are very, very lucky, you’ll have a story to tell. Or not to tell.”

“Sometimes you think you’ve found love, when it’s really just one of those objects that are shiny in a certain light–a trophy, say, or a ring, or a diamond, even. Glass shards, maybe. You’ve got to be careful, you do. The shine can blind you. The edges can cut you in a way you never imagined. It is up to you to allow that or not.”

“Marriage is like a well-built porch. If one of the two posts leans too much, the porch collapses. So each must be strong enough to stand on its own.”

“Sometimes good choices are really bad ones, wrapped up in so much fear you can’t even see straight.”

“Family was even a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn’t, family that wasn’t family but was, halves becoming whole, wholes splitting into two; it was possible to lack whole, honest love, and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.”

“I finally learned that it was all right to say something wasn’t working for me when it wasn’t working. The world doesn’t come crashing down when you speak the truth.”

“At the root of every large struggle in life is the need, to be honest about something that we do not feel we can be honest about. We lie to ourselves or other people because the truth might require action on our part, and action requires courage. We say we “don’t know” what is wrong, when we do know what is wrong; we just wish we didn’t.

Art lets us tell the truth, but even art can be something to hide behind.”

 

“Love is ease, love is comfort, love is support and respect. Love is not punishing or controlling. Love lets you grow and breathe. Love’s passion is only good passion — swirling-leaves-on-a-fall-day passion, a-sky-full-of-magnificent-stars passion — not angst and anxiety. Love is not hurt and harm. Love is never unsafe. Love is sleeping like puzzle pieces. It’s your own garden you protect; it’s a field of wildflowers you move about in both freely and together.”

 

“But what I wanted back had never really been there. He was a temporary illusion, a mirage of water after walking in the desert. I had made him up. And he could have killed me. You’ve got to stop the ride sometimes. Stop it and get off.”

“But, finally, I had to open my eyes. I had to stop keeping secrets. The truth, thankfully, is insistent. What I saw then made action necessary. I had to see people for who they were. I had to understand why I made the choices I did. Why I had given them my loyalty. I had to make changed. I had to stop allowing love to be dangerous. I had to learn how to protect myself. But first… I had to look”

 
How To Harness Your Thoughts To Get The Life You Want
How To Harness Your Thoughts To Get The Life You Want

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