Remember the movie He’s Just Not That Into You? And how many of the characters there are in the “friend zone’’? Almost half of them, right? Safe to say it’s epidemic. By the time the movie was released the term friend zone is not popular yet. Friend zone was born from the social media. It is used to describe a relationship with imbalance where the other person loves someone who sees him/her as just “friends”. If you are in this zone or you know someone else, here are the telltale signs one must be aware of:
- You go out together… in a group. It is not a date if his attention is divided to every person there is.
- He talks about the girl of her dreams. Clearly, she is not you. Or he like talking about other women he likes. And seeks your advice not knowing you are hurting.
- No spark. Spark is the other term for chemistry. You do not connect in an intimate way.
- Keep on calling you as his sibling and says you are perfect for someone else
- He wants to see you depending on his convenience. And whenever he likes and you make yourself available right away. No question asked.
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There are ways to offset this situation. You are in slight in an advantage since you are already friends. All you need to do is amped up your A game.
1. Be Attractive
- To physically create a spark you have to make yourself attractive so he won’t see you as a friend but a prospective lover. Get in a better shape. Try to wear something nice. Tweak your look book and improve your body language. Give him hints that you are interested in taking your relationship to another level.
2. Least Interested Principle
- This principle is about being less interested in that person you gave your time and effort a lot. You will not get what you want by being desperate and needy. He will keep treating you as a friend.
3. Principle of Scarcity
- Let him miss you and appreciate you when you are not around. You have other friends. Hang out with them. You will be surprised how many things you have missed out from trying to please one person when you can have so much fun with your other friends. You can also make them feel a little jealous. You know how competitive guys are. In that way, you can test his interest towards you.
4. Ben Franklin Effect
- Let him invest in you. Not the other way around. Ask for favors. If they do things for you, it means you mean something more to them than just friends. Little things like making coffee or buying snacks is big a turn on and sweet.
5. Go ahead and ask.
- Have the courage to ask and have the strength to take the answer. You might be both surprises with the answer. It may take just a question to clear things out. If any of these don’t work maybe it is time to walk away before your relationship gets sour.
Friendship is mutual. If there is an imbalance then how can you even consider it as friendship? Being in the friend zone is not a dream. You have to wake up with open eyes to see the signs and take action to not be just friends.
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